Monday, August 19, 2013
the cold evening aches, as it leaves in its wake, all the memories left by the day
Posted at 10:41 PM
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So I felt extremely restless in the morning today and my body couldn't stop moving and just, I don't know, doing something. I woke up, washed all the dishes, cooked food for my dad, fed the chickens, swept the floors (I never do that), and then sat down in the dark for a couple of minutes before deciding that it wasn't going to be that type of day that kept reoccurring last week. Okay..so I went shopping, but all I honestly wanted to do was drive with my music on forty with the windows down. Something weird did happen though. I was walking around in a shop and kept smelling a really familiar scent. & I don't know. Weird feelings just kind of rushed back--nostalgia, familiarity. You know when you walk around and you're conscious of the things you see but feel as if you're in another place, thinking of something else? Flipping over old stones and going over things that you wish you could say, or could have said. I caught myself looking for you today, after that. And then realized that I really miss you.Anyway, I went out with V today (even though we said we wouldn't hang out in another six months) and got yogurt. I wanted ice cream so badly, but I'm trying to be healthy and avoid overly sugary things this week, especially since all I did last week was sit on my ass and get headaches. But that's besides the point, haha. We talked for a bit afterwards in his car down the street from my house (in front of my favorite yellow house in the hood), and I just felt so eased acknowledging the fact that we were still close, despite the long term absences. I know, it's stupid but sometimes I feel as if I lack the proper social skills to make any real connections with people. It's comforting to know that I'm not all that deficient, I guess.
Now I'm in bed, exhausted from pilates since I've been slacking for the past couple of days. Which is a good thing. I'm hoping to fall asleep early tonight.
Here's a song that was on constant loop in my car today :
